Four months after giving birth, I found myself walking alone on a cold Scottish December night. Pulling my hood tightly over my head to protect me from the rain, I took a bite from a cold wrap I’d just purchased in M&S, the only store open at that time of night during the hazy period between Christmas and New Year's Eve.
It was a far cry from the family-filled festive season I’d imagined for my first trip home with my newborn daughter. Exhausted and cold, I returned to my in-laws' house, where my absence went unacknowledged. I felt lost, and I knew this wasn’t me. But I also knew I'd had enough.
That moment – one my therapist would later tell me was a cry for help – would turn out to be exactly what propelled me to take my first step towards finding help as a new mum. Back in the UAE, I began to research support groups and came across Mama Tribe UAE. Hosting regular meetups, coffee mornings and socials, the group also had a WhatsApp chat, where new mothers could connect.
As I stared into the darkness nursing my daughter, and feeling alone, I posted my first message on the group. Within a few minutes, I had a reply. Ten minutes later, I had another. It was 3am on a Tuesday, but for the first time in months I realised I wasn’t the only one in the country who was exhausted and wide awake. That alone gave me strength.
A few weeks later, and after attending a few Mama Tribe UAE events where I shared my story with other mums, I found the courage to make a doctor’s appointment. As soon as the doctor asked how I was, I burst into tears. An hour later, I left the clinic with a medical prescription for postpartum anxiety and a new sense of enthusiasm for my life as a mum.
Social media mum myth
My prescription would help me to navigate the next few months of motherhood. But it’s hard to escape the pressures of being a new mum, with or without postpartum issues, in a world that’s flooded with Instagram, TikTok and Facebook posts that paint the post-birth stage of motherhood as a rainbow-filled time, consisting purely of baby cuddles and lullabies.
For many new mums, that’s far from the reality of postpartum life. And in countries like the UAE, where more than 80 per cent of the population are foreign residents, often far from family and familiar support systems, the situation can feel isolating, with social media offering the main daily contact for many mums.
That’s exactly what Juliane Landelle, now a mum of three in Abu Dhabi, felt after moving to the country with her firstborn, who was two months old at the time.
“I was living in a new country and stuck in a hotel while my husband spent long days at work,” she says.
After her husband told her she should go to “meet people”, Landelle posted on Facebook seeking connections with others who might understand the issues she faced.
She posted about the fact it isn’t so easy to simply “meet people” when you’re exhausted, caring for a newborn and just trying to get through each day. Her post was welcomed by many other mums in Abu Dhabi and that reaction led her to create the Mama Tribe UAE community, which became a lifeline for many, myself included.
“We are mums from everywhere, from lots of different cultures and countries, but we are all travelling the same journey here in the UAE,” Landelle says. “And we can learn from each other.”
For Victoria Alhajeri, a Latvian citizen married to an Emirati man, the group offered essential support. “I met Juliane at my lowest point,” Alhajeri says.
“Mama Tribe UAE saved me. We laughed, cried and reminded each other we weren’t failing, we were just human.”
For Elizabeth Cooper, a Canadian citizen with a 20-month-old daughter, her dreams of a South Korean-style postpartum recovery encompassing nourishing broths, structured rest and family support were scuppered after a traumatic birth and a disappointing experience with the doula she hired to support her.
With no extended family nearby, the Abu Dhabi resident struggled. “Everyone focuses on the baby, but many people forget about the mum,” she says.
“I wish I’d lined up more help beforehand, things like having a nanny in place or someone to cook or help look after me. That would be my advice to any soon to be new mums.”
The length of maternity leave varies around the world and depending on family circumstances. Reflecting on maternity leave and postpartum care, Cooper says: “Some mums must be back at work in a few weeks or months, and I don’t believe that’s enough of a recovery period, or enough time with your baby.”
Singaporean mum-of-two Cynthia Goh lives in the UAE, but gave birth in her homeland. She said that most “Singaporean women observe some form of confinement or postpartum care”, which means “really focusing on restoring your body and bonding with the baby”.
After returning to Abu Dhabi, Goh built her own support network using online groups, including Mama Tribe UAE, Mama Hub, Dubai Mums Meet and Eklektik Mama. “It’s not quite the same as my village back home, but it’s something,” she says.
Mental health and postpartum concerns
Dr Nilusha Vadhwania, a specialist in obstetrics and gynaecology at Aster Clinics in Dubai, believes expat mums are especially vulnerable during the postpartum phase.
“Globally, one in five women face postpartum mental health struggles,” she says. “In the UAE, factors like isolation, cultural adjustment and lack of family support push that number higher.”
Cultural differences can play a part. “Some cultures see mood swings as ‘normal’ after birth,” she says, adding that it can lead mums to face their battles in silence.
There has been progress as hospitals across the country offer mental health screenings and insurance companies begin to cover therapy. Online communities have also helped to fill the gaps.
New mums in the UAE have learnt to forge their own connections and, when they do, the bonds run deep. For Landelle, an even stronger tribe awaits. Inspired by postpartum retreats in Australia and bolstered by her background in luxury hospitality, she is launching a postpartum sanctuary.
It is part of an initiative called the Om Journey. She hosted a successful one-day retreat in Abu Dhabi. Some of the mums who attended called it “the day they didn’t know they needed”.
The Om Sanctuary will allow mums to check-in to a luxury hotel with their babies to be looked after by a host of experts in a setting designed to foster connection, support and wellness. Those are all the elements needed for a strong tribe.
“I want every new mum here to know she’s not alone,” Landelle says. “Whether it’s via an online community, a coffee date or by checking in at a postpartum retreat to meet other new mums, connection is everything.”
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Where to donate in the UAE
The Emirates Charity Portal
You can donate to several registered charities through a “donation catalogue”. The use of the donation is quite specific, such as buying a fan for a poor family in Niger for Dh130.
The General Authority of Islamic Affairs & Endowments
The site has an e-donation service accepting debit card, credit card or e-Dirham, an electronic payment tool developed by the Ministry of Finance and First Abu Dhabi Bank.
Al Noor Special Needs Centre
You can donate online or order Smiles n’ Stuff products handcrafted by Al Noor students. The centre publishes a wish list of extras needed, starting at Dh500.
Beit Al Khair Society
Beit Al Khair Society has the motto “From – and to – the UAE,” with donations going towards the neediest in the country. Its website has a list of physical donation sites, but people can also contribute money by SMS, bank transfer and through the hotline 800-22554.
Dar Al Ber Society
Dar Al Ber Society, which has charity projects in 39 countries, accept cash payments, money transfers or SMS donations. Its donation hotline is 800-79.
Dubai Cares
Dubai Cares provides several options for individuals and companies to donate, including online, through banks, at retail outlets, via phone and by purchasing Dubai Cares branded merchandise. It is currently running a campaign called Bookings 2030, which allows people to help change the future of six underprivileged children and young people.
Emirates Airline Foundation
Those who travel on Emirates have undoubtedly seen the little donation envelopes in the seat pockets. But the foundation also accepts donations online and in the form of Skywards Miles. Donated miles are used to sponsor travel for doctors, surgeons, engineers and other professionals volunteering on humanitarian missions around the world.
Emirates Red Crescent
On the Emirates Red Crescent website you can choose between 35 different purposes for your donation, such as providing food for fasters, supporting debtors and contributing to a refugee women fund. It also has a list of bank accounts for each donation type.
Gulf for Good
Gulf for Good raises funds for partner charity projects through challenges, like climbing Kilimanjaro and cycling through Thailand. This year’s projects are in partnership with Street Child Nepal, Larchfield Kids, the Foundation for African Empowerment and SOS Children's Villages. Since 2001, the organisation has raised more than $3.5 million (Dh12.8m) in support of over 50 children’s charities.
Noor Dubai Foundation
Sheikh Mohammed bin Rashid Al Maktoum launched the Noor Dubai Foundation a decade ago with the aim of eliminating all forms of preventable blindness globally. You can donate Dh50 to support mobile eye camps by texting the word “Noor” to 4565 (Etisalat) or 4849 (du).
Types of fraud
Phishing: Fraudsters send an unsolicited email that appears to be from a financial institution or online retailer. The hoax email requests that you provide sensitive information, often by clicking on to a link leading to a fake website.
Smishing: The SMS equivalent of phishing. Fraudsters falsify the telephone number through “text spoofing,” so that it appears to be a genuine text from the bank.
Vishing: The telephone equivalent of phishing and smishing. Fraudsters may pose as bank staff, police or government officials. They may persuade the consumer to transfer money or divulge personal information.
SIM swap: Fraudsters duplicate the SIM of your mobile number without your knowledge or authorisation, allowing them to conduct financial transactions with your bank.
Identity theft: Someone illegally obtains your confidential information, through various ways, such as theft of your wallet, bank and utility bill statements, computer intrusion and social networks.
Prize scams: Fraudsters claiming to be authorised representatives from well-known organisations (such as Etisalat, du, Dubai Shopping Festival, Expo2020, Lulu Hypermarket etc) contact victims to tell them they have won a cash prize and request them to share confidential banking details to transfer the prize money.
* Nada El Sawy
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MATCH INFO
Euro 2020 qualifier
Norway v Spain, Saturday, 10.45pm, UAE
Test series fixtures
(All matches start at 2pm UAE)
1st Test Lord's, London from Thursday to Monday
2nd Test Nottingham from July 14-18
3rd Test The Oval, London from July 27-31
4th Test Manchester from August 4-8
UAE’s revised Cricket World Cup League Two schedule
August, 2021: Host - United States; Teams - UAE, United States and Scotland
Between September and November, 2021 (dates TBC): Host - Namibia; Teams - Namibia, Oman, UAE
December, 2021: Host - UAE; Teams - UAE, Namibia, Oman
February, 2022: Hosts - Nepal; Teams - UAE, Nepal, PNG
June, 2022: Hosts - Scotland; Teams - UAE, United States, Scotland
September, 2022: Hosts - PNG; Teams - UAE, PNG, Nepal
February, 2023: Hosts - UAE; Teams - UAE, PNG, Nepal
South and West: From a Notebook
Joan Didion
Fourth Estate
UAE currency: the story behind the money in your pockets
