Sometimes I wish I could just accept a compliment with a gracious smile and perhaps the sort of murmured "Thank you" that leads to the easy continuation of the conversation, meeting, day, night... whatever situation elicited it in the first place. Scratch that - I don't sometimes wish it, I always wish it because it is a social art that I have signally failed to master.
If there is blame to be attributed I place it firmly at the door of my Scottish upbringing and the seam of self-deprecation that runs deep within me as a result. Don't get me wrong, Scots are proud people, but we're proud of being the underdog. It's a stoic sort of pride and the antithesis of showy, self-congratulatory hubris. I'm not saying that it is better than its more flashy cousin - that would be boastful, another cardinal sin to the Scot - it's just the way it is and it's just the way I am.
So poor am I at receiving these social pleasantries that anyone kind enough to offer them runs the risk of an abrupt verbal slap-down. It goes something like this: Well-meaning friend: "You look nice." Me: "Shut up."
On the surface of it I'm not much better when the compliment is aimed indirectly at my person; ie, when it is an item of clothing or an accessory that has been deemed praiseworthy.
Take a recent snippet of a conversation. "Great jacket," said my friend. "What, this?" I replied, doing a double take at the garment in question as if unaware that a jacket had landed on me in the process of my getting dressed that morning. "It's just H&M."
Or a few days earlier in the ladies' at work: "Cute dress - very Armani." Me: "Oh, it's really old Mango." Or the time before that: "I love your shoes." Me: "They're only M&S." Or before that: "Nice ring." Me: "It's not real."
I can't remember when I didn't react like this - defusing a compliment by trotting out the high street provenance or the low price of whatever item has drawn it. My mother used to say I shouldn't tell people that something was cheap or not the designer label they had thought it to be, or that, if it was, it was vastly discounted or in some way imperfect. I used to try to follow her advice and silence the explanations that tumbled from my mouth at the slightest hint of a warm word aimed in my direction.
But recently I realised the truth - I haven't been trying to stop myself for a long time. Somehow what started as a sort of modest coping mechanism had morphed into quite the opposite. It's official. I am a humble-bragger. I like the fact that whatever I'm wearing looks expensive but isn't. It increases its value in my eyes.
Pointing out that my ring is costume or the dress isn't Burberry but Massimo Dutti doesn't diminish the compliment and return it to sender in a deflated form. It doesn't correct it like an error as if, misunderstanding cleared up, the compliment will promptly be retracted - "Massimo Dutti, you say? Oh, I see, no, it's not a great dress." All it does is make the compliment more sweet. After all, there is no surprise in a designer label looking great. A jacket that cost Dh7,000 should sit well. Frankly, if it doesn't garner praise it has failed. But when one that cost a couple of hundred dirhams is deemed "fabulous," saying, "It only cost Dh200" isn't rebutting the statement, it's tying a bow round it and holding it close.
So if, having read this, anyone ever feels like complimenting me on anything ever again... then know this: I may be standing before you, my every breath apparently running the garment you've just praised into the ground. But it's as close as I'll ever get to a gracious smile and a murmured "Thank you".
Laura Collins is a senior feature writer for The National
Infiniti QX80 specs
Engine: twin-turbocharged 3.5-liter V6
Power: 450hp
Torque: 700Nm
Price: From Dh450,000, Autograph model from Dh510,000
Available: Now
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The specs
The specs: 2019 Audi Q8
Price, base: Dh315,000
Engine: 3.0-litre turbocharged V6
Gearbox: Eight-speed automatic
Power: 340hp @ 3,500rpm
Torque: 500Nm @ 2,250rpm
Fuel economy, combined: 6.7L / 100km
UK-EU trade at a glance
EU fishing vessels guaranteed access to UK waters for 12 years
Co-operation on security initiatives and procurement of defence products
Youth experience scheme to work, study or volunteer in UK and EU countries
Smoother border management with use of e-gates
Cutting red tape on import and export of food
Adele: The Stories Behind The Songs
Caroline Sullivan
Carlton Books
CREW
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ICC Awards for 2021
MEN
Cricketer of the Year – Shaheen Afridi (Pakistan)
T20 Cricketer of the Year – Mohammad Rizwan (Pakistan)
ODI Cricketer of the Year – Babar Azam (Pakistan)
Test Cricketer of the Year – Joe Root (England)
WOMEN
Cricketer of the Year – Smriti Mandhana (India)
ODI Cricketer of the Year – Lizelle Lee (South Africa)
T20 Cricketer of the Year – Tammy Beaumont (England)
The Written World: How Literature Shaped History
Martin Puchner
Granta
AndhaDhun
Director: Sriram Raghavan
Producer: Matchbox Pictures, Viacom18
Cast: Ayushmann Khurrana, Tabu, Radhika Apte, Anil Dhawan
Rating: 3.5/5
'Laal Kaptaan'
Director: Navdeep Singh
Stars: Saif Ali Khan, Manav Vij, Deepak Dobriyal, Zoya Hussain
Rating: 2/5
The view from The National
It Was Just an Accident
Director: Jafar Panahi
Stars: Vahid Mobasseri, Mariam Afshari, Ebrahim Azizi, Hadis Pakbaten, Majid Panahi, Mohamad Ali Elyasmehr
Rating: 4/5
UAE currency: the story behind the money in your pockets
England squad
Moeen Ali, James Anderson, Jofra Archer, Jonny Bairstow, Dominic Bess, James Bracey, Stuart Broad, Rory Burns, Jos Buttler, Zak Crawley, Sam Curran, Joe Denly, Ben Foakes, Lewis Gregory, Keaton Jennings, Dan Lawrence, Jack Leach, Saqib Mahmood, Craig Overton, Jamie Overton, Matthew Parkinson, Ollie Pope, Ollie Robinson, Joe Root, Dom Sibley, Ben Stokes, Olly Stone, Amar Virdi, Chris Woakes, Mark Wood
COMPANY%20PROFILE
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Sole survivors
- Cecelia Crocker was on board Northwest Airlines Flight 255 in 1987 when it crashed in Detroit, killing 154 people, including her parents and brother. The plane had hit a light pole on take off
- George Lamson Jr, from Minnesota, was on a Galaxy Airlines flight that crashed in Reno in 1985, killing 68 people. His entire seat was launched out of the plane
- Bahia Bakari, then 12, survived when a Yemenia Airways flight crashed near the Comoros in 2009, killing 152. She was found clinging to wreckage after floating in the ocean for 13 hours.
- Jim Polehinke was the co-pilot and sole survivor of a 2006 Comair flight that crashed in Lexington, Kentucky, killing 49.
Killing of Qassem Suleimani
Profile
Company name: Marefa Digital
Based: Dubai Multi Commodities Centre
Number of employees: seven
Sector: e-learning
Funding stage: Pre-seed funding of Dh1.5m in 2017 and an initial seed round of Dh2m in 2019
Investors: Friends and family
Fixtures (all times UAE)
Saturday
Brescia v Atalanta (6pm)
Genoa v Torino (9pm)
Fiorentina v Lecce (11.45pm)
Sunday
Juventus v Sassuolo (3.30pm)
Inter Milan v SPAL (6pm)
Lazio v Udinese (6pm)
Parma v AC Milan (6pm)
Napoli v Bologna (9pm)
Verona v AS Roma (11.45pm)
Monday
Cagliari v Sampdoria (11.45pm)
Company profile
Name: Steppi
Founders: Joe Franklin and Milos Savic
Launched: February 2020
Size: 10,000 users by the end of July and a goal of 200,000 users by the end of the year
Employees: Five
Based: Jumeirah Lakes Towers, Dubai
Financing stage: Two seed rounds – the first sourced from angel investors and the founders' personal savings
Second round raised Dh720,000 from silent investors in June this year
Meydan Racecourse racecard:
6.30pm: The Madjani Stakes Listed (PA) | Dh175,000 | 1,900m
7.05pm: Maiden for 2-year-old fillies (TB) | Dh165,000 | 1,400m
7.40pm: The Dubai Creek Mile Listed (TB) | Dh265,000 | 1,600m
8.15pm: Maiden for 2-year-old colts (TB) | Dh165,000 | 1,600m
8.50pm: The Entisar Listed (TB) | Dh265,000 | 2,000m
9.25pm: Handicap (TB) | Dh190,000 | 1,200m
10pm: Handicap (TB) | Dh190,000 | 1,600m.
Company Profile
Name: Thndr
Started: 2019
Co-founders: Ahmad Hammouda and Seif Amr
Sector: FinTech
Headquarters: Egypt
UAE base: Hub71, Abu Dhabi
Current number of staff: More than 150
Funds raised: $22 million
The specs
Engine: four-litre V6 and 3.5-litre V6 twin-turbo
Transmission: six-speed and 10-speed
Power: 271 and 409 horsepower
Torque: 385 and 650Nm
Price: from Dh229,900 to Dh355,000
Expert advice
“Join in with a group like Cycle Safe Dubai or TrainYAS, where you’ll meet like-minded people and always have support on hand.”
Stewart Howison, co-founder of Cycle Safe Dubai and owner of Revolution Cycles
“When you sweat a lot, you lose a lot of salt and other electrolytes from your body. If your electrolytes drop enough, you will be at risk of cramping. To prevent salt deficiency, simply add an electrolyte mix to your water.”
Cornelia Gloor, head of RAK Hospital’s Rehabilitation and Physiotherapy Centre
“Don’t make the mistake of thinking you can ride as fast or as far during the summer as you do in cooler weather. The heat will make you expend more energy to maintain a speed that might normally be comfortable, so pace yourself when riding during the hotter parts of the day.”
Chandrashekar Nandi, physiotherapist at Burjeel Hospital in Dubai
Five films to watch
Castle in the Sky (1986)
Grave of the Fireflies (1988)
Only Yesterday (1991)
Pom Poki (1994)
The Tale of Princess Kaguya (2013)
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